And she said...

Encouraged by CP's new status as a sex GOD I decided to go take the silly test myself...

I must say; I'm not at all suprised by the results.

:wink:

[i]A brilliant bolt of lightning descends! SHAZAAM! The oracle has spoken!

The smoke clears to reveal that inside you is a divine being,

PERSEPHONE, Goddess of the Night,

a woman in touch with her deepest inner desires.

As the most sexual of all the female deities, you are very comfortable in the bedroom. Your skill at pleasing a man is unmatched, and you know exactly what you need for your own pleasure. As a woman of passion, you're very comfortable with expressing your desires to anyone. You are a proud and confident woman who exudes sensuality. You cherish the intimacy of physical attraction and know what it takes to win a man. As a woman deeply in touch with your sexuality, you definitely know how to thoroughly enjoy yourself! Your polished bedroom performance always keeps them coming back for more. When everything is going right, a light shines down from the heavens. Behold, the skies proclaim, here lies a goddess![/i]

Edited to add the link. :wink: Tickle.com

This is a piece for an artwork challenge on the scrapbook site that I frequent. The host submits 3 pieces of art and the players choose which one that speaks to them, then recreate a layout using the painting as an inspiration.

I love the way it turned out. The picture is from last summer on my backporch swing.

Thanks for looking. ;-) Feel free to comment.

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Here is the inspiration piece.
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I was surfing the blog rollers list this morning and you will never believe what I discovered. Cynicism. In huge quantities.

Apparently it's cool to be cynical online now. Am I completely oblivious to all thats going on in the world? Of course not. But there are enough people on the net journaling about wars, misery, politics and the such. Someone has to journal happy, yes?

It's no wonder that I surround myself with happy people that love to laugh and be positive. Can we [u]please[/u] explore the idea of bringing back the love? Warmth, friendliness and compassion may be a thing of the past.

If my posts sometimes sound like they are lecturing, they are not. I quite simply get enthusiastic about my topics. If you think I sound too happy and must be hiding the fact that I was abandoned at the age of 3 and raised by wolves... nope, that's not it either.

I'm discovering the joys of life.

This is my journey, but you are welcome to come along for the ride.

Finding the joy,
~Jenn

ps. I reserve the right, as the author of this blog, to continue to rant on occasion. Sometimes it has to be done. It's part of the process. :wink:


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A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.
H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)

What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.
Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900), Lady Windermere's Fan, 1892, Act III

Cynicism is not realistic and tough. It's unrealistic and kind of cowardly because it means you don't have to try.
Peggy Noonan (1950 - ), in Good Housekeepin

Here is an "e-card" that I made with PSP 7 brushes and scrapbooking elements. I thought it turned out pretty!

I'm going to start sharing more information about how I do things and where I get my "stuff" from. If that aspect of my art doesn't interest you in the least... Well, sorry. :wink:

The ribbon and ring charm are downloaded from Scrapbook-Bytes. This is a great digital scrapbooking site. The have a community format with lots of very helpful girls. You can download a ton of different elements. Eyelets, charms, "paper", ribbon and fibers, alphabets (as opposed to fonts), frames, photo corners, flowers, metal embellishments and much MUCH more. They have challenges and tutorials every week as well. Of course, I'm a member there. If you want to see my layouts click here.

I downloaded these brushes from beautiful-sin. A very cool site with a focus on dramatic tv shows. Not that I'm into Angel or Buffy, on the other hand I'm all about the REALLY cool brushes. Check 'em out.

For those of you that could care less about making your own, please feel free to right-click and save. :D [image]JennsAbsent_118466 3701.jpg[/image]

Do ever get bored?

Guilty.

I've been so restless today. Between doing laundry (which is neverending), playing with Clay and filing more paperwork I've been able to keep myself from going crazy.

If there was one household chore that I could just wish away it would be laundry. Between two adults and three children (one of which is a pre-teen diva) we have more laundry than half of Dallas. I'm positive. Believe it or not, I do atleast 2 loads of laundry EVERY day and I still stay behind. Ugh.

I think I'll go on strike. No laundry for a month. :P

Eh. That won't work. It's cheaper to wash the old ones than buy new ones. *sigh*

On another note, I did some more banners today. These are for FireAngel. Hopefully she will like atleast one of them.

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I hope everyone is having a great day...

Guess what I did tonight?

Uh huh.... You know.

I had some sweet, juicy, tender watermelon. Our first one this year. I was a tad worried about the quality, everyone knows watermelon is best in late summer.

We've had it in the frig since saturday, but for some reason haven't taken the time to cut it yet. C started slicing thru the pulp and juice literally streamed out the sides of the fruit. Bright pink liquid love. Mmmm...

C is still sitting on the living room floor with his. I inhaled mine in about 10 minutes. I might add that the last few bites aren't good unless you eat them [u]without[/u] a fork.

I wish I could share a slice with all of you.

I even took a picture. Enjoy.

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I'm off to have another slice. :wink:

Night,
Jenn

For Cyberpal...

I promised him that I would make him a new banner. (Actually, I begged him to LET me make him another banner.) LOL!

I hope you like atleast one of these hun. The fonts and colors can be changed with no problem. If none of these float your boat, I'll keep making them until one does. Hehe. (Like I have anything better to do.) :oops:

Brushes courtesy of my favorite PSP brush sites. (See- Designer Divas)

::EDIT:: Oops. Gotta resize em.

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Thanks to Rocky, my new template is finally up and running with only a few minor bugs. See those boxes all jumbled together over there. ------------------

They aren't supposed to do that. LOL! I'll be damned if I can figure out how I did that though.... Oh well, I'll beg Rocky for help again tomorrow...

I love my new look! It reminds me of sherbert and summer sandals. Friendships and secrets. I feel less cluttered and confined.

Almost as if I've just bought myself a shimmery new summer dress... Oh what a feeling...

This site is temporarily experiencing technical difficulties due to lack of knowledge of a certain blog owner who shall remain nameless.

We will continue to work night and day to return you to your regularly scheduled smart-ass commentaries.

Thank you for your patience.

It's amazing how much crap one person can accumulate.

Let me back up a bit. I'm NOT a packrat. I keep things that are important or special to me. Despite my ability to throw just about anything in the circular file, I still find myself weeding out CRAP all the time.

My paperwork/bills have been in such a mess for ages. I'm talking years worth of bills, insurance papers, receipts, titles, healthcare forms, government papers and financial odds and ends. Up until last night these papers were stuffed into various spots around my house with absolutely no organization or order.

On the other hand, Krista is one of the most organized people I know. A virtual organization GURU, I tell ya. That girl has her shit together. She could probably tell you at any given moment where any paper in her house is. Of course, I begged and pleaded with her to come and help me re-organize my paperwork. Actually, "re-organizing" would imply they were once organized. That, my friends would be a false misrepresentation of my previous bookkeeping skills. My shit has never been organized. I can never figure out the best way to sort and package it.

We started at 9pm last night and worked until 2am. Every single piece of paperwork is now snug it's own little folder home. I'm so excited I can barely see straight.

Thank you so much Krista! I owe you. Big time.

I was in the midst of sending and responding to email when I realized that all of the "cool" people have signatures... LOL

So, of course. I made one.

Tell me what you think.

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Would you believe that I'm alone? No kids, no husband and I couldn't even get the dogs to come when I yelled. I bitch and moan about never getting any alone time and I find myself feeling so ALONE. It feels wrong to not have Dora or Max playing at an ear splitting volume. It is amazing however to be able to hear myself think.


Clayton was adorable today at my aunt's house. That child is a first class charmer at the tender age of 3. And what a flirt! I don't know where he gets that! ::insert innocent blush::

Starting with his tiny toes and ending with his gigantic blue eyes, I want to hug and pinch every inch of his soft baby self. He has the knack for making me giggle out loud at his crazy antics. He loves to ride his bike, fly kites, play with the dogs and swim.

He loves his sister more than anyone else, but splits his time evenly being mama's boy one day and daddy's boy the next. His love for trains was a gift from Chris. His daddy also had a fetish for anything on rails. At last count, he had 5 different train sets. Guess who bought those? :wink:

Clayton definitely has the ability to get himself into trouble as well. He loves to write, draw and color.
On e v e r y t h i n g. So far, the walls have remain unscathed. Unfortunately, no table is safe from his wandering pen. Anyone want a good coffee table with ink pen scribbles all over the top? I'll sell it cheap. :wink:

He has became quite the little sasser here of late. "No!", has become the word of choice around here.

Mommy- Clayton, would you like frosted flakes or fruit loops?
Clayton- NO!

Mommy- Clayton, you're such a silly boy... *laughs*
Clayton- NO!

I'm quite sure he's just tring to get a response, but of course I fall for it everytime. "Clayton, don't tell mommy no!" which ofcourse he responds....

Well, you know.

I see so many good things happening in Clayton. He has the best manners of all my children. Today I was talking to my aunt about him coming to visit, and I asked him if he would like to talk to aunt pat-pat... He said "No thank you, me not wanna talk". I just about melted into the floor. It was that sweet. And, he says that all the time.

Well, when he hasn't reverted to Mr. NO! man...

My hopes for Clayton are that he will continue to be sweet and charming. But to also learn to be serious and responsible. I know in my heart that he will be smart, opinionated, charismatic and loving.

I look forward to every day that I get to see him grow up.

Beware.

I'm going to attempt to install a pro blog template today. *If* I'm able to do this, it will be beautiful...

If I can't, then I shall give up forever. :D


Excuse the mess, while I work on it. *Hugs*

Ya know, I thought it was real cool that we have two different birds nests on our front porch. I thought.. "How sweet, I'll be able to hear the birds singing to me in the morning."..

Their sweet and innocent and ever so small. How much trouble can they be?

Ummm... A lot!

The suckers had babies. And by the sounds of it, they had about 17. They chirp ALL DAY long. Beggin for food or money, I don't know what.

The question is.. Will they ever shut up?

Because I'm bored and narcissistic by nature, here is a Monday meme.

To find this meme list go here.

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I'm running out of ideas (hint! hint!!) I hope you enjoy this week's question. Using the letters in the word 'blogger' describe your blog for us.

B - [u]beginner[/u] [I]my only other choice was boring. :shock:[/I]
L - [u]lotsa links[/u] [i]cuz I do! [/i]
O- [u]orgasmic[/u] [i]I've been waiting for a reason to type orgasmic[/i]
G- [u]gripping[/u] [i]not really[/i]
G- [u]gutsy[/u] [i]well, some of the time![/i]
E- [u]egocentric[/u] [i]As usual, it's ALL ABOUT ME.[/i]
R- [u]repetitive[/u] [i]'Nuff said.[/i]

Go ahead you know you want to....


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Here is another banner that I created.. If you decide to use it, please leave a link back so I can see it in action. :D

[image]JennsAbsent_242110 737.jpg[/image]

Disclaimer: This art was created using brushes from the awesome brush sites on the left. Look under the Links heading for Miinc, 1greeneye, classic tere-art and inexplicable designs to download.

Candles make me happy. I love the way a scented candle will envelope an entire house with it's sweet smell. Candles for me mean indulgence, pleasure, warmth and light.

Humans have been using candles to light their homes since the beginning of civilization and their popularity has only increased over the past 50 years.

We use them for romance, ambience, sensuality and even religious rites.

Here is my top 10 favorite candle scents based on Yankee candles. However, I will add that the small Mom and Pop candle company here in Ellis County has the best scented candles ever.

10. christmas cookie
9. hazelnut coffee
8. MacIntosh apple
7. cucumber and melon
6. plumeria
5. blueberry muffin
4. clean cotton
3. apple cinnamon
2. white lilac

and finally...

1. french vanilla (of course!)

I won't even bother trying to sort these into room scents... Because we all know that one candle may work in the kitchen, but the same candle may be completely wrong for the bathroom. :wink:

Tell me your favorites!

Should I say it?

Why the hell not.

H A P P Y M O N D A Y E V E R Y O N E!

I'm not a huge fan of Mondays, but this Monday feels different. I'm predicting a good week. You understand, when I say "predict", that means I'm going to do everything in my power to MAKE it a good week.

Yesterday all of us girls sat down to work on our altered boxes. Krista found some great wooden cigar boxes in Dallas for only $1!! She has already been back 3 times to buy more... lol. I told her that she needs to buy them up before the cigar store dude realized what a great find they are.

Working on crafts with 3 preteens is hella work. Let me tell you. They need constant instruction and praise. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind helping them. But, DAYUM.

I did manage to get one finished, despite the obvious obstacles. :wink:

What do you think?

[image]JennsAbsent_370342 671.jpg[/image]

On another note, I have been playing with Paintshop Pro more and more and I'm really starting to like some of the results. I was tootling around this morning and made this. I think it's cool.

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I've been having a ball playing around with Paintshop Pro this evening. I've made several blog headers just for fun.

Please feel free to snag one of these if you see one that you like. Leave me a message or send me an email letting me know, so that I can see my header in action. If you would like me to customize the title, let me know. I'd be happy to personalize. (I saved them all in an easy correction format!)


(I left the orange one full size, so you can see how good the detail is in these brushes.)

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(Edited to add: I used brushes from 4 of my favorite brush sites. The links are all under my main links section on the left. Check em out!)

I love lazy days. I love being able to stay in my sweats with no make-up and just veg. Play on my computer, watch tv, cook some good food, or just sit. This has been one of those types of weekends. I haven't left my house since Thursday. :shock: Most people would probably go crazy, being cooped up in the house for that length of time, but not me! I love having everyone come to see ME. LOL!!

Yesterday, Krista stopped by with Bethany and Meghan. (Meghan is her niece) I took some pics of the girls goofing off and fed them loads of junk food. I would post some pics, but I plan on doing a layout with em. (So watch for that. ;))

Being around 3 preteen girls makes me feel nostalgic. I miss the silliness. Goofing off, talking nonstop, hyper-activity induced high-pitch squeeling. I remember telling secrets and thinking NO ONE was smarter than me. I miss that. One thing baffles me though.... What is it with kids needing to be constantly under the grown-ups feet? I never wanted to hang out with "old people". Krista and I were always anxious to be on our own, where we could do our own thing. Why do kids have to hear and know everthing nowdays? :roll:

Mom also stopped by. She was in town driving my Grandma home. (MY grandma drove HER home after her hospital stay on Thursday.) It was good for the kids to see her. I think Ally has been worried about her Nanny. C and I cooked a YUMMY dinner for her and we all had fun chatting about inconsequential things. (Recipe will be included at the bottom of the blog.)

C and I watched a great movie last night. "40 days and 40 nights". If you've seen this, leave a note letting me know what you thought of it. I LOVED it. I loved the blatant sexuality in the movie. I loved Josh Hartnett's character and his values and personality quirks. I hated his ex and loved his new love interest. Movies like this always make me feel better. I call them "feel good movies".

Today, C is going to take the boys to yet another birthday party. Can I just say that I am SO freakin sick and tired of kids birthday parties. Really! I feel like we have to go to one every single weekend and it's just wearing on my nerves. Today's party is going to be at the park as well. (After 3 solid days of ground-soaking rain, I might add.) So, my very sweet husband offered to take the boys while I stay home and scrapbook with Ally and Krista. :D (Man, I love him.)

How was your weekend? Did you do anthing new or fun or did you sit home and relax like me? Tell me about it!

Ok, here is the recipe for Cajun shrimp linguine. C and I both love seafood and anything spicy. I'm also a sucker for italian food. If you like any of those, you will LOVE this super easy recipe.

1 pkg linguini
1 bottle premade alfredo sauce
1 bag frozen shrimp (Or fresh if you feel like cleaning them.)
1 red bell pepper
Tony Chachere's creole seasoning (to taste)
EVOO (extra virgin olive oil) Can you tell I watch Rachel Ray entirely too much?
1 tsp minced garlic

First, start the linguini water and add pasta when the water is ready.

Second, cut the bell pepper into strips and saute in EVOO with the garlic and a sprinkling of tony's seasoning. (again, to taste) When the pepper gets crisp-tender add the *defrosted* shrimp and cook only long enough to heat the shrimp thru. Add another generous sprinkling of the tony chachere's. (We use about a tablespoon, which makes it mildly spicy.) When the shrimp is heated thru and you can't stand smelling the yummy scents wafting thru the kitchen anymore add the alfredo sauce to the pepper/shrimp and serve over linguini. This is a very simple recipe and it tastes SOOOOOOOO good. Try it and let me know what you thought.

Have a great Sunday!!!

Today has been a GREAT day! Krista finally, FINALLY got back online. YIPPEEEEE!! I set her up today with her very own blog. Be sure and visit and say hi.

Daisymae

I mentioned in passing the other night about going to see my Mom in the hospital. She was here in Dallas for a series of tests. The doctors are busy getting her all ready for her surgery. A cardiac cath, trans esophogial echo (don't ask me), and an MRI (for 3 freakin hours!) all in one day. Considering that these were all fairly stressful tests the doc had her stay overnight.

Sometime in the next few weeks she will be admitted for surgery. According to my aunt they found an additional hole in her heart, that no one was aware of. Every time I hear a bit of news it gets worse and worse. If you are even slightly religious I would love any prayers that you feel inclined to share.

Without doubt, my Mom is the biggest animal lover of anyone I know. We always had dogs and cats. Once, when I was very young, my mom had to shoot one of our dogs. (This was during one of my parents break-ups. :x) We had 2 males, one was a full blooded pit bull and the other was part pit bull part border collie. (I know. Don't ask.) It was cold and snowy outside, one of the few times I remember any substantial amount of snow in Texas. The dogs began to fight over some food and we could NOT seperate them. They continued for atleast 30 minutes while my mom beat them with a bat and sprayed them with a water hose. Finally, the neighbor came from down the street with a gun. While my brother and I hid under the kitchen table, they shot our dog. I will never forget my Mother crying the whole time she dug the whole to bury him in. She wouldn't let anyone help her either. Makes me cry just writing about it... She loves animals so much. Last summer her dog bit Clayton on the face, and my Father had to kill him. Both C and I begged them not to do it, but they both felt that they couldn't own a dog that they couldn't trust. It was a horrible, horrible thing to happen to her, my dad, Clayton, ALL OF US.

She got Buddy (her new dog) about 6 months ago and I don't think I have ever seen her more in love with an animal. She takes him everywhere. I figured with her going into the hospital, she would miss her sweetie so I decided to make her something. I can print and frame this for her to take with her. Maybe it will help her recover faster, who knows.

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1. What food do you like that most people hate?

[b]This should be easy considering that I like almost everything! Food is GOOD. Brussel sprouts strike me as one of the most hated foods, and I LOVE them. [/b]

2. What food do you hate that most people love?

[b]Umm.. I hate Liver. Then again, most everyone does.[/b]

3. What famous person, whom many people may find attractive, is most unappealing to you?

[b]Russell Crow. I just don't get it. The only thing I find attractive about ole Russ is his accent. (He's a cranky bloke!)[/b]

4. What famous person, whom many people may find unappealing, do you find
attractive?

[b]John Travolta (Swoooon) I love his personality as much as I love his looks (again, swooooon).[/b]

5. What popular trend baffles you?

[b]Pants that ride the middle of your ass. What in the HELL are you thinking??? Do you need a belt? Do you need to be SLAPPED?[/b]

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On a side note, I figured out why I couldn't post pics! Wait, let me clarify that. Rocky TOLD me why I couldn't post pics. Can you believe that I had already used up ALL of my image space? :shock: He gave me a little bit more, but told me that I needed to delete some to get more space. Wow. That sucks. Does it count if they start at Photobucket?

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I'm having a bit of writers block the last day or two. :? How do you deal with this? Do you try creative writing? Do you write what you know?

I'm not a huge fan of the "Not much goin on today... blah blah blah." If I can't find something interesting to write, I would rather not write.

Wait. I think that's what this is.

I'll take "Irony" for $400 Alex.

I'm part of great digital scrapbook community at Scrapbook-Bytes, and we often have "challenges". Basically you have to make a layout based on whatever theme the host chooses. Clayton's last layout was for a font theme. This layout is for an "All about me" challenge. Believe it or not, this was the very first layout that I have ever done just about me. It was very cathartic, due to the definition element of the challenge. We had to find words that we thought defined us, and that we would want others to know us by.

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Today has been a crazy day.. lol.

Both of my children stayed home from school. Ally had a sore throat and Logan lost his shoes. Gah. He took them off in the backyard yesterday and one of the S-T-U-P-I-D dogs carried one of them off. Unfortunately, due to a sudden growth spurt he couldn't wear any of his others. :shock: Who knew? Ironically, Ally found the missing shoe at about 10am today. I hate that he had to miss school, but I don't see how one day will hurt.

Meet Mr. FancyPants. (Clay decided to try on Mom's lipgloss.) :lol:

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I laughed so hard when I figured out what he had all over his face...

Well, I'm off to watch tv and relax. You guys be good. ;)

Well, it looks as if it's going to be a scrapbook page a day. :lol:

I love the way this one turned out. I used bladeshop pro filters from flaming pear that I just downloaded. I am so in love with this new filter...

The adorable little boy is of course my son, Clayton. Isn't he cute?

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Grocery shopping.

Love it/hate it. Shopping for food is one of those things that I love to do, but only when I'm in the mood to do it. If I'm not in the mood, I might as well be plucking my toenails out with a pair of pliers. It's that miserable!

Last night, C and I stole away for a few hours to get out and do our shopping by OURSELVES. Yes, no children were in attendance. Not even one! (Its THAT big of a deal, trust me.) Krista stopped by for a few hours last night to borrow my comp. She is currently out of a job and needed to email her resume out. Being the wonderful friend that I am, I begged her to sit with the kids while C and I ran to the local grocery store. Heck, I waited until they were asleep, so it wasn't all bad. lol..

It's amazing how something like grocery shopping can be so adversely affected by children. Normally when we go with all of the kids we usually have an argument before we even get out of the driveway. The children fight over who will help push the buggie and C and I are on edge from the word go. It's not what I would call "fun".

Last night was like taking a food shopping trip to paradise. The store was nice and quiet at 10 pm, with no children and only the stockers to slow us down. We were able to stop and actually read labels! I didn't hear "Momma, can I have..." not even once! Wow! I forgot that it was possible. The funny thing is.. my kids are pretty well behaved, I can imagine what a mother with slighly more to handle reacts. It's amazing there isn't more reports of blood shed in the local supermarket.

Anyway.

It was nice to get away. C and I don't have babysitters. My aunt will watch them occasionally, but she seems to be sick all the time. We have a great teenager that helps from time to time, but she lives an hour away and has a social life. (Damnit.) My mother lives an hour and a half away, and she has been too ill as well. Krista will watch them, if she doesn't have something else going on. I guess what I'm getting at, we needed some time alone. Even if it was only to walk around the local fluorescent hell otherwise known as the grocery store.

C'est la vie.

Tuesday, April 20, 2004
Would you rather...

1. Win the lottery or have a guarantee that your family would be together forever?

*Sings* Money can't buy me looooovveee!

2. Have a makeover for yourself or for a dear friend?

Ummm.. What kind of makeover? If it's makeup and a new haircut then my friend can have it. If it's a boob job, that baby is MINE.

3. Work out at the gym or have plastic surgery to remove the "ick"?

This is hard. I love to exercise, but I'm lazy about doing it. *thinks* Ok.... I choose plastic surgery. (Told you I was lazy.)

4. If you are single or when your were single, would you rather have a blind date or go out with a someone you are friend with first?

Blind date. Dating your friend is like kissing your brother. It's going to get ugly.

5. Win an Extreme makeover or an Extreme Home makeover?

Home makeover!! Definitely!!

When we visited mom and dad in April we drove thru the dogwood park. This tree had stretched his limbs across a small creek that we found. We had so much fun crawling across the limb to get out over the creek. The kids had to be sat up on it, but they thought that was just the coolest thing. I love these pictures. It exemplifies our adventurous nature as a family.

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I told you guys that I was going to become addicted!!!

Jingle jangle jingle jangle jingle jangle, Have a good day and thank you very much.

You're thinking I've lost it, right? Last night I drove to Dallas to see my Mother, (She is in the hospital for tests, I'll blog about that later.) and to see Krista. I went to see Mom first and on the way to K's house I decided to stop at the "Parkit Market" :roll: and get some cigarettes.

I've been in this store dozens of times before last night, but the jingle jangle guy is new. He was sitting on a box right outside the door and as I walked by him he sang in a low singsong voice "Jingle jangle jingle jangle jingle jangle, have a good day and thank you very much."

I couldn't help it, I busted out laughing. He very calmy said Thank you again and I went on in. As I walked out he did the same thing again, and I giggled like a schoolgirl. I don't know why!!! He was greasy and dirty, but he seemed so harmless and he was genuinely happy to get a smile from someone. As I drove away, I looked back at jingle jangle guy and he was still smiling.

Some things are worth the effort of a good attitude.

I just finished a layout for Ms. Ally. She loves it! Tell me what you think.

Hugs!

ps. These are all digital images! It's amazing what you can dl from the net!



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Don't you hate it when you forget something really important?

It isn't a mistake that my nickname is "JennsAbsent". I am probably the MOST absent-minded person alive. It's amazing the shit I forget.

I always forget doctor's appointments unless Chris reminds me repeatedly the day before AND I leave myself sticky notes.

If you want me to relay a message to someone, don't be pissed when that person doesn't get it. Because, I simply can't remember.

I forget to take medicine (where do you think Clay came from?), and even worse I forget to give my kids their medicine!

I always forgot where I left my car keys until I made myself get into the habit of leaving them on the keyrack by the garage door.

I have numerous nicknames for my kids, simply because it takes me too long to remember which one I'm speaking to. "Doodlebug" is my current favorite. :roll:

Today I forgot that the HOUSE APPRAISER was coming. Holy cow. That is SOOO not something that I need to forget. I was in my skivvies with nothing but a tanktop, hair piled on top of my head and clayton was running around with a horse costume on. Geez.

Not to mention that the house was not half as clean as I would have preferred. The boys room especially was quite gross. Toys, sippy cups, books, crumbs... everywhere. I've been doing laundry all morning, so that is spread all over the kitchen.

Somebody shoot me.

C has been such a great hubbie today. He washed every shutter on the house with the power washer, the back AND front porch decks, and the stepping stones.

I love you honey!

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Links. Bookmarks. Addys.

Whatever you want to call them, these are the things that make the internet, the internet. I just counted and I have 107 links in my bookmark list. Most of them hover around the subject of photography, food, scrapbooking, PSP, or blog help/ideas. However there are a few "odd"
ones..

Let me give you a few of my favs from my personal bookmark list.

Quote Garden - This is a great site for those of us who love quotes. I use quotes on handmade cards, scrapbook pages, on my blog, and sometimes just for personal
inspiration. I love the funny/crazy ones too! Spicy Quotes is another fun quote site.

Ucomics - I love bound & Gagged by Dana Summers, if you haven't noticed. This is where I find all of her great comic strips.

There are absolutely thousands of great PSP tutorial sites out there. Some of them catering to web graphics. Clip art, tubes, backgrounds and everything in between. These are the ones that I have went back to more than once.
JASC learning center
PSP tutorials
SandysScrapDesigns
Robins PSP tutorials - My favorite!!

The same thing applies to photography web sites. Wow! This is one of the most diverse web subjects of all. Sites that display photography, sites to help you take pictures, sites to critique your pictures, camera help, camera review, porn (hey, its pictures), personal photography sites and so much more!
Photography.com
Nature Photographers.net
Women-Digital-Photographe rs/
Digital Photo Contest
26things A cool photo challenge site.
DPReview - A weblink must have!
shortcourses.com - Complete guide to digital cameras
Fodors.com - How to take pictures like a pro.
photography lifetips

Ok. This has gotten really long. LOL! I'll do part 2 tomorrow or Tuesday, in the meantime you can peruse a few of these and let me know what you think. Share your favs as well!!

Coming next - FOOD

I'm currently addicted to Terraserver Usa. This site is so incredibly cool. It's satellite photos of almost anywhere that you can think of.

So far I've searched these -

My High School - Still boring :roll:
Mt. Ranier -VERY cool
The apartment building where I lost my virginity - Ugh
Grand Canyon- AWESOME
Yankee stadium - I just wanted to see this ONCE in my life. :lol:

Check this out!

~Jenn

ps. I hope everyone is having an awesome weekend!!

Yesterday, Texas gave us a beautiful day. C came home from work around noon and we headed to Wal-Mart to buy Clayton his promised caps for his cap gun. The poor boy has been begging me for days. (Mother of the year. Right here.) While we we're looking for caps we found KITES! C and I decided to take advantage of the windy April weather and bought the kids Kites. Well, we had to have one too, of course!

We hurried home to get them flying before Ally got home on the school bus. Her daddy wanted her to be able to see the kites from the bus. Isn't he sweet?

Word to the wise: Cheap kites are better kites. (Atleast by Wal-Mart standards.)

The more expensive kite was very *pretty*, to bad it *sucked* when it came time to fly. :roll:

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After some help from Daddy, the kids were flying like old pros.

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Verdict: Kite flying is good family fun!

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C and I overslept this morning. Ugh. I hate having to wake up and rush around. Ally's schoolbus had already come and gone by the time we rolled out of bed, so I got the honor of driving her to school. :P Normally, she won't let me drop her off. Kids are so funny when it comes to following their routines and schedules.

Oversleeping did make me think of one thing though....

I need a new alarm clock. Ours is a little $5 dollar job from Eckerds. (Probably why we have a hard time getting up, or atleast that's something easy to blame it on! LOL)

Check out this alarm clock that I found after googling this morning..

Wake assure alarm clock with bed shaker :shock:

Grrrrr tblog.

I was trying to load a new layout tonight, and tBlog has apparently forgotten that I'm a pro user. I get to "add an image" page and there is a banner for Photobucket and underneath that an add for tblog stating the price and telling me to "support tBlog, join now" or something to that effect.

News flash: I signed up for pro the very first day I joined!

Grrrrr.

Anyway... Hopefully this link will work.

Retro Layout

I just got off the phone with my Mom. Unfortunately, she didn't have good news. A few weeks ago, when I started my blog, I wrote about her being sick. This pertains to that as well.

I have to start at the beginning.

Fifteen years ago she had a heart transplant, due to cardiomyopathy. (For information on cardiomyopathy click here.

She was in the hospital for 3 weeks before receiving a new heart. (A man's heart, in fact.) The recovery time in the hospital was a month, if I'm not mistaken. All of these years she has been required to take a TON of medication. She makes what seems to be weekly visits to the doctor. She has endured liver failure, congestive heart failure, numerous skin problems, weight gain, teeth problems, poor blood flow, bruising, etc. due to her heart. We also found out a month or so ago that she also has Hepatitis C. Which may or may not be "active". :?: The doctors were assuming that the hep c was causing the liver problems, but after testing her liver they found out that it was healthy. Which is a good thing! But, it means that all of the problems were due to her heart. Bad news.

She just gave me the results of her tests. It seems that she will have to have surgery on her heart. They will replace a bad valve with a new pig valve. They will have to open her chest.. again. I am so absolutely saddened by all of this. I don't know whether to be happy that she will be fixed, or be worried that she has to go thru all of this again.

Funny thing is, she has the most awesome attitude. She jokes about being able to oink. :roll: While all of us are freaking out and worrying, she is helping US to get thru it.

By the way, Mom is 46.

Yay! I finally created a digital scrapbook page that I'm happy with. (For the most part.) After only 4 solid days of trying to figure my program out :roll:, I finally know that I can do this. There is SO much to learn.

I found some great sites to help newbies get started.

Scrapbook-Bytes
Scrapbook Graphics
Graffiti Text
PSP Tutorials

These are just a few of MANY. If you need any help finding something in particular let me know. I probably seen it in my endless searches over the last few days. LOL!

This is alot of fun... and addictive! But, now that I've completed something I'm happy with, I can return to blog addiction. :D

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[i]Creative writing prompt[/i] - Moving from one place to another, and one house to another, is a big task. Write about one of your most memorable house moves.

[LINE]

When I turned 18 and got my first job, I couldn't move out of my parents house fast enough. Two weeks after graduating high school I had my first job, as an operator at Southwestern Bell. I had a great job and money to burn, why not? My parents, being the supportive souls that they are, totally supported my choice to be on my own. My Aunt handed down an old living room suit, my Dad gave me a beautiful brass bed, and my Mom got me all stocked up with towels, linens and kitchen stuff.

I remember the day that I moved. We had to get up early and get started since I had to work the all-night shift later that evening. My Grandmother, my Brother and Krista all pitched in to help me move my miniscule amount of home furnishing. It took us about an hour to get everything unloaded and put in its appropriate place. My Grandmother would have been more than happy to stay and help me completely unpack, but I wanted to do it [i]on my own[/i].

My apartment could only be classified as a glorified walk-in closet. It was tiny. A kitchen that consisted of about 1 square foot of counter top, a bathroom that you could hardly turn around in, and a tiny living room that was only slightly large enough to hold my "new" sofa and coffee table. (But, I was still SO proud!) Since no one was willing to give me their TV :roll:, I went without for almost a month. I don't really remember missing it, but who doesn't have a TV? I finally gave in and bought one.

That first day, after everyone left I spent about an hour getting everything put away. I hung my pictures, lit candles and even watered my new plant that Grandma gave me. By 9 o'clock when I had to go to work, my new home was completely unpacked and anxiously awaiting it's first party.

[Line]

The last time I moved it took me 3 months to get completely unpacked. Hell, I think I still have boxes in the attic that haven't been opened since that first move.

I yearn for the days of less stuff, less clutter and fewer complications.

Here I am, playing around with PSP 7 still. I think I may be getting the hang of it finally. I created this computer generated scrapbook page of Clayton and his choo-choo.

Let me know what you think.

(I hope this works.)
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Don't you just love those days when you can barely sit down? When you do finally sit down your brain races with things to do, bills to pay, friends to call, projects to finish. It seems that I have been neglecting my friends, housework and hobbies. If you're reading this, then you probably know why. Blogging is addictive!!! Yesterday I HAD to get some laundry done, go grocery shopping and clean up my house. Luckily for me, I maintain even on days that I don't clean. Although, it still took me 2 and 1/2 hours to get things put back in order. :shock:

Krista came over last night to hang out... :P Girls need a night out every once in a while. 8) There is a tiny little bar about 8 miles from my house called "The Boxcar". I have never been there before, but C assured us that they have a pool table. (I LOVE to play pool.) When we walked in there were only 4 people there, including the bartender. Yay! We had the place to ourselves. We spent the evening listening to songs from our youth. Bohemian Rhapsody, Janie's got a gun, Faithfully, Turn the page and all of the really old stuff. (What can you expect from a hole-in-the-wall honky tonk?) She was just pleased to not have to listen to country music. LOL! I'm going to have to have a talk with that girl about not forgetting her roots. :wink: After three games of pool and 2 shots each, we we're giggling and acting like kids again.

It's funny. I don't really miss the "party scene", but I do miss going out with my friends on a regular basis. I miss the camaraderie, the excitement of discovering a new place, the tension between the sexes.

[i]Spring is nature's way of saying, "Let's party!" -Robin Williams[/i]

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[LINE]

Don't you wish this was a reality! For my ex..., I'm thinking Russia. In the dead of winter. :wink:

~Jenn

Tonight I have been playing around with PaintShopPro 7. I have had this program for over a year and in that time I have barely been able to use it. Basically, I cropped pictures, removed red-eye, made simple banners and added artsy effects to digital pictures.

Today I found a GREAT psp beginners tutorial site here. I found the tutorial very easy to follow (even for me!). If you have this program and have absolutely no friggin clue how to use it, then I suggest you visit this ladies site. I'm only about a 1/4 of the way thru it, but I've already created a cool sig tag for email. She also teaches how to change it into a transparent .gif image. Hopefully this will work...

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I had to show off my work!

Back to playing.. :lol:

~Jenn

Because I can't resist a meme and I'm narcissicistic by nature:

Here are the 9 layers of me. :D

[b]Layer One[/b]
Name: Jennifer
Birth date: 16 June, 1973
Birthplace: Dallas, Texas
Current Location: Waxahachie, Texas
Eye Color: Blue
Hair Color: Auburn
Height: 5'7"
Righty or Lefty: Righty, although I catch with my left hand.
Zodiac Sign: Gemini

[LINE]

[b]Layer Two[/b]
Your heritage: American Indian and Irish
The shoes you wore today: Handmade crochet booties that C's grandmother makes us. (I have yet to leave the house.)
Your weakness: Compassion and Sense of Humor
Your fears: My mother dying.
Your perfect pizza: Fresh roma tomatoes, fresh basil and buffalo mozzarella
Goal you'd like to achieve: To learn my camera and photography in general. Raise my kids to be wonderful adults

[LINE]

[B]lLayer Three[/b]
Your most overused phrase on YIM: LOL
Your first waking thoughts: I don't wanna get up.
Your best physical feature: My legs
Your most missed memory: My cousin

[LINE]

[b]Layer Four[/b]
Pepsi or Coke: No preference
McDonald's or Burger King: Wendys :P
Single or group dates: Both That's like comparing apples and oranges. Two people alone is a date. Four or more is a night out w/ friends.
Adidas or Nike: No preference. I don't pay attention to brand names that much.
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Whichever is cheaper
Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla
Cappuccino or coffee: Coffee for life, cappuccino for a treat

[LINE]

[b]Layer Five[/b]
Smoke: *sigh* Yes
Cuss: Abso-fuckin'-lutely
Sing: Not if you know what's good for you.
Take a shower everyday: No. But I take a bath on Saturdays. :roll:
Do you think you've been in love: I don't think, I know.
Want to go to college: Only if it was a class that interested me.
Liked high school: Definitely. I miss it.
Want to get married: I am. :wink:
Believe in yourself: Most of the time.
Get motion sickness: Thankfully, No.
Think you're attractive: I don't need a bag over my head, but I won't win any beauty contests either.
Think you're a health freak: uh NO!
Get along with your parent(s): Of course, I adore my parents.
Like thunderstorms: It depends. I like the rain, but I'm terrified of sever thunderstorms.
Play an instrument: I played Clarinet in middle school. But, I doubt that I still could.

[LINE]

[b]Layer Six[/b]
[b]In the past month...[/b]
Drank alcohol: Yes. Probably 3 times.
Smoked: Yes
Done a drug: Yes. I try to take as many drugs as possible. :roll:
Made out: Yes. :P
Gone on a date: I'm trying to remember. I don't think so, but I will have to ask C.
Gone to the mall: Nope
Eaten an entire box of Oreos: No, but these fat-free fig newtons are going fast.
Eaten sushi: Not in the past month, but I love sushi
Been on stage: Not in the past month.
Been dumped: Nope. (Thank god)
Gone skating: No
Made homeade cookies: Made homemade brownies, muffins, cake, and apple cobbler. But, no cookies.
Gone skinny dipping: No, It's flippin colder than a witches tit in Texas lately.
Dyed your hair: No
Stolen anything: No
You sound boring: Only if you base the level of excitement strictly on the above questions; ask the right questions and you'll get a lot more excitement :wink:

[LINE]

[b]Layer Sever[/b]
[b]Ever...[/b]
Played a game that required removal of clothing: [blush] Yeah, I've done that [i] a few times... [/i]
If so, was it mixed company: Yes
Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Yes, before I learned that in reality "gettin fucked up" really isn't all that cool.
Been caught "doing something": Yeah, that too.
Been called a tease: Every damn day.
Gotten beaten up: Ha. Not in this lifetime.
Shoplifted: Yes--I was sixteen; I was with a girlfriend and we thought it would be ok if we stole make-up from wal-mart. We were caught and taken to jail. I learned my lesson. :shock:
Changed who you were to fit in: Yep. Guilty.

[LINE]

[b]Layer Eight[/b]
[i]Damn, is this ever going to be finished???[/i]
Age you hope to be married: Again, I AM married.
Numbers and Names of Children: 1 girl and 2 boys - Logan/9, Ally/8 and Clayton/3
Describe your Dream Wedding: Eloping in Maui. Weddings are way overrated.
How do you want to die: Old, surrounded by family and friends, peacefully drifting off to sleep
Where you want to go to college: n/a
What do you want to be when you grow up: Geez. I don't know. A photographer?
What country would you most like to visit: Italy

[LINE]

[b]Layer Nine[/b]
Number of people I could trust with my life: 4 - C, Krista, Mom and Dad
Number of CDs that I own: 50-60
Number of piercing: Two, one in each ear
Number of tattoos: Zero
Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: I'm trying to think. Maybe 7 or 8 times (counting times from my youth)
Number of scars on my body: 5 or 6 decent ones
Number of things in my past that I regret: I can't count that high. I let my hummingbird ass overload my rhinoceros mouth more time than I would like to recall.


Thats me in about 4,253,992 nutshells. Geez, that took forever!

Today the weather in Texas is cold and windy... Blah. Unfortunately the kids and I are stuck inside of the house because of the cold. I guess we could go out, but there is nothing pressing. The TV has been going full blast all day and the kids have been trying their hardest to mess up all of the cleaning I've just done.

Ally took a long hot bath because she isn't feeling well. I think she may be coming down with a sinus infection. The Benadryl I gave her for the runny nose has probably made her sleepy. She is currently laying in my bed under all of the covers watching rugrats. Poor baby...

The boys decided that they needed a bath after Ally got out. (Of course) Clayton jumped in first (and by jumped, I mean JUMPED). Logan is such a FREAK sometimes. :lol: He climbed into the bath and promptly stood there and peed. Right into the bath water. I yelled at him like 3 times to STOP and he just kept on peeing. All the while giving me this blank look like [i]what mom? It's just gonna go down the drain[/i]. :roll: I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I guess it's a good thing we have soap. Hopefully that will wash away the germs. Ugh.

Sorry if this grosses some people out. When you deal with it on a day to day basis it just gets comical. Kids are a riot.

~Jenn

Whew. It's over..... I lived thru another family gathering at the inlaws house. Yay me!! I didn't have to poke anyone's eyes out with a no. 2 pencil. [i]Hey, that's saying something.[/i]

On a scale of 1-10 I would give today a 7. Not bad at all considering the company. [i]Inlaw problems are a whole other blog. Trust me.[/i]

The kids had a great time and everyone got along. Brandie had the new baby there for everyone to gawk at and fawn over. That provided plenty of entertainment. Let me tell you, that baby is absolutely adorable. For him to be 4 weeks premature and wearing a monitor he is perfect. His head is shaped very pretty and except for a small rash/abrasion on his chin, he would be perfect. Here let me just show ya... ;-)

Caden Seth
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[i]Let's break for a short commercial for C. The best husband in the world. He just sat a warm brownie sundae in front of me. Complete with drizzled chocolate sauce and sprinkles of cocoa powder. I'd like to hear a HELL YEA. We will now return to regularly scheduled programming.[/i]

All of the children received goody bags with small easter puzzles, bubbles, small tractors, kites, crazy straws and candy. From C's parents, of course. (The tend to go a tad overboard. Can ya tell?) The kids did have a BLAST with the bubbles though. I don't think they quit until they were all gone or spilled.

My Ally
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Of course, hunting easter eggs is always the best part. The kids were hilarious running around like ants working the mound. LOL! Clayton was particularly adorable.. He would run right by an egg because one 6 feet away caught his eye first. He would just look down at the one he was passing and keep on going. Only to turn around and run back to the one he passed. Silly kids! I only helped him a little bit... hehe


Mom helps Clay hunt for eggs.
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The kids always have a really hard time putting the candy AWAY. They keep trying to sneak back into their baskets after they have been "put away"...

Caught red handed.
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Overall, a pretty good day.

How was your easter?

Almost every night Krista and I talk on the phone and talk about our days... We call these chats our "updates".

Tonight during our update we were discussing our daughters. Krista's daughter, Bethany, is absolutely stunning. A 12 year old Winona Ryder. [i]I may be slightly biased but that's an auntie's perrogative. Right?[/i] Last week at Ally's party everyone kept commenting to me how beautiful Krista's daughter had become over the past year. She is probably 5'4 and skinny as a rail. She wears size 7 shoe, is very athletic and is active in Karate. As a matter of fact, she recently broke her first board. She and I were also discussing her neice who is a bit more on the wild side. She is 13 and already very much involved with a boy.

I don't remember being as mature at 12. I was a skinny kid with a goofy nature and scraggly hair. I wasn't interested in boys or dating yet. I didn't have boyfriends until I was 15 or 16. Why are girls these days more mature than we were?

I can tell you. TV and Hollywood. Hollywood has made it impossible for our children to [i]stay[/i] children.

Today, Lynne, Kate, Kraze and myself were discussing Judy Blume and it really made me think about this. I wish I could bring back the days of Gidget and Gilligans Island. My daughter is 8 and is growing up very fast. She will be a preteen before I can blink and it scares me to death. Will I have one of those Maury Povich bad-girls on my hands? I hope that she knows how to choose the right paths, and which friends will be the right ones. I'm probably wearing the worry suit a tad early, but I can't seem to help it.


[b]Bethany[/b]
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Creative writing prompts can be a great way to ignite memories and get your journalistic juices flowing. Creative writing prompts is a great site if you want to try this exercise.

[i]Write about a time you hid from someone, or a time you disguised who you really were.[/i]

When I saw this prompt I was immediately reminded of a hot summer day the summer I turned 13. Have you ever wished that you had kept a better journal growing up? I do! There are so many times that I want to remember why something happened, or who took me to this play or that concert. It certainly gets frustrating.

Anyway.

Summer in Texas can only be described as sweltering. You can see the heat coming off of the sidewalk in rolling waves of hot steam. The asphalt literally bubbles on the road. The dogs never leave the shade, and the old men that sit on the benches in front of the town store wear hats with large straw brims to shade their eyes from the sun. The soles of our feet were tough as nails after walking the burning hot asphalt of our small town streets.

On this particular day, I was in trouble. I don't remember the reason, but it must have been bad. Krista and I were out walking and talking. Staying as far away from home as possible, in a useless attempt to stave off my punishment. For some really stupid reason I had the idea to run away from home. Where does a 13 year old go in a small town, where everyone knows you? In a box, in your best friends backyard, of course! A large refrigerator box to be more exact. My thinking was that if I stayed in that box long enough everything would just go away... My parents would maybe forget that I had disobeyed, or lied, or whatever it was that I had done. (It's amazing that the only detail I have forgotten is what I did wrong.. Don't you think?)

Before my parents got home from work I had made myself a happy little home in my new fancy box. Krista brought me water, soda, a box of crackers and I think some magazines. We stayed out there all day. Sweating and worrying. Eventually, Krista's mother came home and she had to go in. However, I had decided by this point that I was in for the long haul. Maybe my parents would be so worried that they would forgive me when I came home? Maybe they would end up calling the police and coming to look for me? I imagined frantic parents and enveloping hugs when I finally decided to leave my shelter. I was strong. I was stubborn. I was scared shitless.

I heard my Mom knock on Krista's front door around 7:30 and her mother telling mine that she hadn't seen me. Krista must have managed to make herself scarce, because she was never made to lie for me.

Finally, at 9:30 after not hearing any police sirens or search parties I figured I better go home and face the music. The three houses that seperated hers from mine seemed like way to short of a distance suddenly. Being as quiet as a mouse, I snuck thru the yards of my neighbors hoping to sneak in my backdoor unnoticed. No such luck. My parents were sitting on the back porch, talking quietly. I remember stopping in my tracks and my dad looking up at me with that knowing fatherly glare. He knew and I knew. I hadn't gotten away with a thing.

Well, C was reading my blog this morning. He seems to think that I'm too hard on myself. If you know me well, than you know that I have a VERY sarcastic sense of humour, and if you can't laugh at yourself, who CAN you laugh at???

Nevertheless, I decided to post a fun picture that C took, just to make myself feel better and to prove that I don't always poke fun at myself.

[image]JennsAbsent_558241 988.jpg[/image]

[LINE]

Who wants to be serious all the time, though? :wink:


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[LINE]

This would be my luck.

I've never really had a desire to meet a celebrity or anyone "famous". Mainly, because I'm the most accident prone female to ever walk the earth. It's almost inevidable that I would trip and spill spaghetti sauce all over them, or sneeze on them, or trip and knock the poor schmuck to the ground.

Trust me, It wouldn't be pretty.

One of my favorite sites of all time is ReallyWeirdStuff.com. I have always loved this excerpt and thought I would share it. I know that Tre' wouldn't mind... ;-)

[LINE]

I know what the Victoria Secret is. The secret is that nobody older than 35 can fit decently into their stuff unless they are surgically enhanced. I have been ape about walking and eating better, but I haven't really made a commitment to working out, before or after a 12 hour work day. I am just lucky to have a job these days. I am into working out; it’s just that my philosophy is no pain, no pain. The only real exercise I have been getting lately is jumping to conclusions. I have no excuse. I have a full gym at work and at my apartment. Don’t get me wrong, I'm in shape; round is a shape. It’s just really weird, you hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks almost two sizes.

A lifetime of dieting, starving and bingeing may have something to do with it. I need some inspiration. It seems the hardest years of motivation for me have been those between the ages 6 and 39. What I need is a whip-cracker, some wicked tough-love boot to my ass! I've gotten soft and pathetic like over-ripe fermented fruit and I need a hard-line guru to oversee my impending physical transformation. I need someone who will show up at my house at dawn and turn the hose on me if I am too lazy to wind sprint my way all around the neighborhood. Then follow me in a Jeep while I jog, licking my heels with a whip and barking directives that strike a delicate balance between abuse and inspiration.

While I prefer to pay for the services of a Greek warrior-type already in fighting form, I am open to trading services with another beer bellied sloth provided you are not some easily distracted, fly-by-night maker of life changing decisions. I am looking for commitment here. If you've got the boot, I've got the ass...

I wanted to share some funny bunnies with everyone.. Since it is Good Friday and Peter Cottontail will be hopping along any day now.

Enjoy!

*snort*

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I found this article at SuperNaturale and thought it was very appropriate, considering that it's April and that time of year for the most horrendous of all chores.

[b]Spring Cleaning[/b]

[LINE]

Don't Let Spring Cleaning Take You By Storm!
A Supernaturale Guide to the Most Ungodly of Chores
by Siobhan Vivian

A long and bitter winter has come to an end. Temperatures are rising, photosynthesis and pheromones igniting. But before you can join the seasonal celebrations, my crafty Cinderellas, you must do your chores.

It's time to clean house - spring style!

What differentiates a "spring clean" from your average weekend tidying? A whole mess of tedious chores usually avoided at all costs - that's what! For some, the concept is on par with "If a tree falls in the woods, and there is no one around to hear it, will it make a sound?" Simply put, even the most diligent taskmasters may have a difficult time grasping the expanse of this annual to-do.

To help clear the mental cobwebs, I've formulated a plan of attack for the indispensable elements to this rite of sanitation passage. There's also a list of slackass deviations and hazards to be wary of.

So, get that vintage apron tied nice and tight and spread your elbow grease plenty thick. Hopefully, you'll be out before midnight.

FREAKY FRIDGE: With all the gorgeous fresh produce headed for your refrigerator, it might be time to empty the sucker out and washed away the gelatinous remains of Thanksgiving, no?

Sort through and toss any foodstuff that is over a healthy expiration date. A general rule - if you haven't used something in over six months, pitch it for the sake of your taste buds.

If your freezer resembles a snow cone on steroids, unplug it, place a pot of boiling water inside (on a trivet!) and get your melt on. You'll be amazed at how much better things taste after the great thaw.

WINDOW WASHDOWN: There's no better way to spring-up a room than flooding it with sweet fresh air. That is, unless you have windowsills filled with grime, screens caked in dust and dingy curtains. Follow these steps and you'll be proud to pull your curtains back.
• Remove screens entirely and submerge them in a soapy tub. Let soak for a few minutes.
• Spray clean with a garden hose and pat dry with a cotton towel or rag.
• Wipe down the entire window casing as well as the window pane.
• Strip any window treatment down for laundering.

DUSTY DILEMMA: Nothing points the finger at your lack of winter dusting like a little natural light. Get a damp rag and wipe down every surface, including:
• Door frames
• Ceiling fans
• Knickknacks and display cases
• Books and shelving
• Lampshades
• Appliances
Be extra gentle with televisions, stereos and other electronics. They attract dust like nobody's business but deserve extra TLC.

FURNITURE FINESSE:Your sofa has probably endured quite a bit of winter loafing. To keep things cozy (not crunchy!):

• Strip off the cushions and vacuum up all the crumbs, change and undefined filth lurking at the bottom of your upholstery.
• Launder slipcovers covers and throws.
• Treat any minor stains with a damp rag and a smidge of gentle laundry soap.
• Give the raw cushions a good pounding in the great outdoors.

WARDROBE WIZARDRY: You want to look your spring cutest - and who could blame you? But, doing so shouldn't come at the expense of your winter savings. It's hard not to get caught up in spring fashion madness. Here's a few tips on maximizing what you already have before any hard-earned pennies disappear into the cash register.

STEP ONE: Size Winter Up
• Take stock of everything you've acquired during winter.
• Separate any items that you didn't wear once during the season.
• Recycle pieces that are stained and/or grungy.
• Dry clean / launder / repair all items that you plan to keep.
• Pack winter clothes away in a dry, protected space for next season.
• Keep a few transitional pieces handy for unpredictable weather.

STEP TWO: Reevaluate Your Existing Spring Wardrobe
• Open that trunk wide and spill the contents. It's time to refresh your memory.
• Try on every piece of clothing again. Separate what doesn't fit to a reasonable degree. (Hell, we've still got another 9 months for that resolution!)
• Toss anything stained, yellowed, or in a general state of yuck. Better yet, tear it up into a new cleaning rag!

STEP THREE: Maximize
• One lady's trash is another's treasure. Throw a spring-theme Naked Lady Party.
• Mix choice spring pieces into the winter garb for maximum potential. Replace a sweater with a tank and jean jacket.
• You should be able to avoid the initial spring sales rush! By the time you actually NEED some new pieces, they should be on sale.

FINAL FOREWARNING: As you've astutely noticed, spring cleaning can be quite a task - one easily derailed by distraction. Here are some deadly pratfalls to avoid at all costs.
• Keep your eyes on the prize. Don't start a new task if you are already in the middle of one. • Try not to open any magazines, photo albums, CD collections, etc. You'll get easily sidetracked with a stroll down memory lane.
• Don't attempt to do all your spring cleaning in one do-or-die weekend. Beside the obvious sadomasochism, you'll burn out faster than a match and leave behind a plethora of half-assed and unfinished chores.
• Science 101: never EVER mix ammonia with bleach!
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I'll be back later.. I'm off to CLEAN. :D

1. What's on top of your refrigerator?

[i]A glass cake plate and a cookie jar shaped like a chicken. LOL[/i]

2. What's your favorite meal of the day?

[i]Dinner by far. I don't usually eat much breakfast and lunch is more often than not just a sandwich or a bag of popcorn.[/i]

3. Wash dishes by hand or in the dishwasher? What detergent do you use?

[i]Definitely in the dishwasher! I hate to wash dishes, but I love to have a clean kitchen so the dishes are almost always done and put away. I use whatever is on sale. (That last part is a silly question, if you ask me.)[/i]

4. How often do you eat out compared to eating in?

[i]We enjoy eating out, but it's a pain in the arse to take 3 children to a restaurant. I usually cook, but we occasionally get take out. We eat out more on the weekends than the weekdays, as I suspect most people do.[/i]

5. How do you plan to spend your weekend?

[i] Spending time with the family eating good food and watching the children hunt for plastic eggs full of teeth rotting candy. We *may* go to church.[/i]

Last night as I was watching Survivor my girlfriend called to ask if I wanted to go for a bike ride. This would be my friend Tiffanie, who lives next door. It really is a blessing to have a close friend that lives right next door. Her daughter and son are Clay and Ally's ages and her husband and mine get along famously. Tiffanie and I share several hobbies including scrapbooking, rubber stamps, photography and cooking. C and Mike love to watch sports together and discuss fishing, although they haven't taken the time to go fishing together, yet!

Anyway.

Tiff called to ask if I wanted to go for a bike ride, and I was all for it. Let me first say that Tiff is a tiny little woman. Probably 5'2 and 105 lbs soaking wet. However, she can kick my butt when it comes to exercise! She works out everyday and walks on a treadmill every night. Anytime that she wants to go for a bike ride or a walk, I know that I'm going to get a work out. (In fact, today my legs are aching sooo bad from riding hard for about 4 miles up hill. Atleast it seemed all up hill)

There is a catch to hanging out with Tiff though. She is one of those women that complains constantly. She is either complaining about her kids or her husband, her work or her family, her church or her money situations. It gets to the point, that I just don't have a clue what else to say to be of any comfort! I love her dearly and I truly enjoy spending my time with her, but how do I let her know that we don't have to discuss the negative ALL THE TIME. When things are going well and she's in a good mood, we have so much fun. They are quite religious, but we still joke about sex and silly stuff. Mike and her will drink wine with me, or we may mix up some Pina Colodas. I'm always on the alert though, to stop a positive environment from going negative.

Do you have a good friend like this? Please share any technique for handling this! Thanks!

How much do we really know about ourselves?

I've spent the last 30 some odd years, trying to figure myself out. In other words, learn what makes me tick. Because when you really think about it... do we [i]know[/i] ourselves as well as we think? [i]Do you know what your favorite food is?.. Do you know what you want to be "when you grow up"?.. Do you know if you want to be a homeowner or not? Who hasn't ever let you down? What are your fears?[/i]

I'll spend the next few days revealing things about myself... Some silly, some sad but all of it profound in [i]my own eyes.[/i] Events and emotions that have shaped me into the woman I am today. [b]Wife. Lover. Mother. Daughter. Friend.[/b]

Fear has always been an issue with me. Fear of getting hurt. Scared to break a bone, skin a knee or bump my head. I know that I'm a "girly girl" as a result of these fears. I never played sports, save for one summer of softball. [i](which resulted in a massive black eye, I might add..)[/i]

I would love to go bungee jumping, but the fear of that little rubber thing busting with me attached has me so terrified that I can't even watch.

I didn't learn to dive until I was well into my teens, for fear that I would belly flop and bust my face on the water.

I've never really pursued the types of jobs that really appealed to me for fear that I wouldn't be able to succeed. I have always wanted to go to culinary school. Everytime I begin to think about it I start worrying about money, or child care, or time. [i]Where would the kids go... How can I work restaraunt hours... Can we afford tuition..[/i] These are all things that immediately pop to mind. So, I bury it. I try not to think about how fun it would be to really learn to cook, and to be able to cook for others.

C and I have always talked about taking a long vacation together, just the two of us. However, everytime that we bring it up, I start worrying. [i]Who will keep the kids, how will afford it.. blah blah blah.[/i]

We have been discussing the paranormal lately, and I shared that I was scared of ghosts. This is a very real fear for me. If I see a movie like "The Ring", I know that I will not be able relax for a week, at least.

I have a very unhealthy fear of thunderstorms, in paticular tornados. I have become so distraught, that I insist that we leave the house. For some reason, my own home doesn't feel safe.

For a long time, I was scared to be happy. I subconsciously ruined healthy relationships for god only knows what reason. I'm talking serious sabotage.

I've learned that I let fear control me. It took a week long stay in a mental hospital (another blog. LOL) to realize this. I wasn't brave enough to reach out for the things I wanted, for fear that I would be disappointed.

[b]I'm happy it only took me 30 years to figure this out.[/b]

I'm claiming this as my theme song. To hear a snippet visit CD Baby.


Deb Talan - Tell Your Story Walking

tell your story walking
tell it to the judge man
tell it to your motherless reflection
in a sock and one shoe after the great defection
she said tell a lie sometimes
tell the truth when it suits you
when you've lost your way

tell a story tell your story tell it tell it tell it tell your story to anyone who'll listen tell your story don't stop talking just tell your story walking

listing through caroll gardens on your way to cobble hill
i stopped at a psychic's dusty wilted windowsill
forgot what she told me mostly but i remember one thing she said you may slip and call some lousy f*** your friend but in the end you'll come out even

then you tell your story tell it tell it tell it tell your story to anyone who'll listen tell your story don't stop talking just tell your story walking

and it's a sorry frightful thing when you want to cry
but you can't keep from laughing
outside the church that's so quiet
it dares you to shout
you put a hand to your mouth to stop the rain
you do a saint vitus' dance through the sky
you raise your voice
this is your chance you have no choice

you tell your story tell it tell it tell it tell your story to anyone who'll listen tell your story don't stop talking just tell your story walking

Is there anything that you eat, that others thinks is just gross?

Right at this moment, I'm munching on some pickled beets. LOL The reason I ask, is that Ally is grossing out. But, I don't blame her, she's a kid. Are you a picky eater? Is there something you eat that others thinks is gross?

My list goes as such

Pickled Beets. (LOL)
Cold bologne and Bread.
Vienna sausages by themselves. Yum.
Butter and saltines.
Cold fried chicken and Pizza. (C hates hot food to be cold, if that makes any sense.)
I also like Ruffles with mustard.

:D

I bought myself a new checkbook/wallet today. It's red riveted leather... very pretty! I'm one of those girls that switches purses once a week, and today I was switching things around again.

I figured something out about myself.

I'm all girl. (In case you wondered.. lol)

Listen to what I found in my purse.

4 Lipsticks
1 Lip Liner
1 Tube of Hand Lotion (Of course.)
1 tube of Carmex
1 bottle of Body Spray
A comb
A powder compact
My checkbook/money/credit cards, etc.
Tic Tacs
Cell phone
Anti-bacterial handy wipes
and
Tissue


Whats in YOUR wallet?

;-)

I'm antsy.

I woke up in a decent mood today, but of course trying to get the kids and man out of the house can cause numerous problems. C and I got into a very minor tiff about something totally stupid and now I can't concentrate on anything.

My hands are shaky, my tummy is upset and I want to cry!


Before you ask, no it's not PMS. I got the entire shebang taken out about 3 years ago.

Maybe I need a bath. Or food. Or a breath of fresh air.

Maybe an orgasm will help. ;-)

What do you do when your having a bad day?

I NEED some guidance here friends!

It's a crazy world when a goof like me can make it into the top 10 hot blogs.

In celebration, I've decided to share my top 10 favorite things.


10. Egyptian Cotton Sheets - If you want your bed to feel more like heaven and less like a scratchy bed-hell, than splurge and buy yourself some good sheets. You won't regret it.

9. Huge coffee mugs - I love dainty little teacups, but I swig my beverage down in about 2.2 minutes. Give me the huge honkin' coffee mug and I'm set for atleast 5. ;-)

8. Good Scissors - This may seem like an odd thing to list in a top ten list, but for me, great scissors is comparable to a good butcher knife. Essential.

7. Sexy Shoes - High heels, strappy sandals, fuck me pumps, slut shoes. Call them what you want, but a sexy shoe TURNS ME ON. I wonder if Manolo Blahnik takes charity cases?

6. Cofee Table Books - I love huge artsy coffee table books, on just about any subject.

5. Baubles Baby! - What girl doesn't enjoy getting something sparkly from time to time? ;-) Personally, I prefer an unusual colored stone to diamonds.

4. Good Eats - Feed me Seymour! Don't worry, I'm not picky.

3. Hand Creams, Lotions and Potions - I'm addicted to the stuff.

2. Hot Baths... - Scalding hot water up to my eyebrows, tons of bubbles and an ice cold glass of wine. Give me a good book and I'll leave you alone for hours.

1. Canon Digital Rebel - The best investment I've ever made.

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Thanks for clicking on me!

CANNETO DI CARONIA, Sicily - The gate at the entrance to this tiny Sicilian village has come off its hinges and swings in the wind as cats wander into homes abandoned after a series of mystery fires.

Spontaneous fires started in mid-January in the town of Canneto di Caronia, in about 20 houses. After a brief respite last month, the almost daily fires have flared up again — even though electricity to the village was cut off.

An endless flow of scientists, engineers, police and even a few self-styled “ghostbusters” have descended on the town, searching for clues to the recent spontaneous combustion of everything from fuse boxes to microwave ovens to a car.

The blazes, originally blamed on the devil, have not hurt anyone.

“We’re working in the dark. We don’t have a single lead so far,” said Pedro Spinnato, mayor of the trio of Caronia towns.

“Every time some new scientist comes to town, they arrive thinking the whole thing has been invented or that they’re going to solve the mystery in two minutes. They’ve all been wrong.”

Electricians and exorcists

The 39 inhabitants of the town halfway between Palermo and Messina were evacuated after the regional government declared a state of emergency in Canneto, which occupies a single street nestled between a railway line and the sea.

But after weeks of sleeping in a nearby hotel and houses rented for them by the government, they’re getting desperate.

“I’ve seen an air conditioner burst into flames and burn down in 30 seconds. These are not normal events, but I think we’re going to have to start looking for a different kind of help,” said Antonio Pezzino, whose house was first hit.

From the start, Gabriele Amorth, one of the Catholic Church’s exorcists, suspected the devil was at work.

“I’ve seen things like this before,” he told the daily Il Messaggero. “Demons occupy a house and appear in electrical goods.”

Amorth urged the parish priest to take action.

The local priest, Don Antonio Cipriani, decided together with residents to let scientists have a first go at the fires.

After a brief visit to Canneto di Caronia, the head of the Committee for the Control of Paranormal Claims has ruled out demons or poltergeists — at least for the time being.

“The fact that the phenomenon occurs only when there are people present makes it hard to believe that it is a natural, or even supernatural phenomenon,” the committee’s Massimo Polidoro said. “But we don’t exclude further investigation if things aren’t eventually explained.”

Real-life ‘X-Files’

Nobody can say the experts aren’t trying. Canneto looks increasingly like a set for the TV hit “The X-Files.”

Two fire trucks and a police jeep sit at the entrance of Canneto on alert for the next blaze, while a van with a large, rotating antennas on top measures the radio waves.

Three-legged instruments to monitor geomagnetic, meteorological, electromagnetic and electrostatic indicators sit in apartments and next to lemon trees in the gardens. Colored markings on the street indicate the presence of volcano experts.

Police ruled out a possible prankster or pyromaniac after they saw wires burst into flames.

The hypotheses now range from a buildup of electrical energy caused by grounding wires running off the railway to a rare “natural phenomenon” in which surges of electricity rise from the earth’s core.

The fires have even consumed unplugged lamps and an entire apartment. Black scorch marks still scar the apartment walls.

Italy’s big utility, Enel, cut off electricity to the town and hooked it up to a generator — but that caught fire as well.

More recently, cellular phones and cars have also been acting up, with lock and alarm systems being set off without any apparent reason.

Sacrificial goat?

The evacuated families of Canneto di Caronia who gather almost every night in the three-star hotel perched above their abandoned village are giving up hope.

“I just want to go home,” said Rosi Cioffo, a shopkeeper and mother of two. “I don’t know what’s causing it and I don’t care anymore — even if it’s the devil.”

Her 9-year-old daughter, who is frightened every time a TV or bathroom fan switches on, may not agree.

Spinnato, the mayor, sounds just as desperate.

“Someone wrote to us saying the solution was to sacrifice a black goat and collect its blood. At some point, that’s going to start looking like a good idea.”

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Thanks to the encouragement of our fav cyberhunk I researched some ghost stories. Admittedly, this one freaked me out.

What have your experiences with paranormal been? Seen any spooks lately?

[b]Spill it.[/b]

Internet Providers Sue Hundreds for Spam

WASHINGTON - Some of the nation's largest Internet providers, in an unusual joint effort, said Wednesday they filed six lawsuits against hundreds of people who were accused of sending millions of unwanted e-mails in violation of the new U.S. law against "spam."

The legal actions by Microsoft Corp., America Online Inc., Earthlink Inc. and Yahoo! Inc., represent the first major industry actions under the "can spam" legislation that went into effect Jan. 1. The lawsuits, filed in federal courts in California, Georgia, Virginia and Washington state, were announced at a news conference.

The companies said the defendants include some of the nation's most notorious large-scale spammers. The Internet providers — collectively with tens of millions of subscribers — said they shared information, resources and investigative information to identify some of the defendants.

"Congress gave us the necessary tools to pursue spammers with stiff penalties, and we in the industry didn't waste a moment moving with speed and resolve to take advantage of the new law," said Randall Boe, AOL's top lawyer and executive vice president.

Dozens of those named in the lawsuits, however, were identified only as "John Doe" defendants who were accused of e-mailing unwanted pitches for prescription drugs, herbal potions and weight loss plans.

Among the named defendants were Davis Wolfgang Hawke of Medfield, Mass., whom AOL lawyers said also is known as Dave Bridger, and Braden Bournival of Manchester, N.H. They and others were accused of sending millions of e-mails offering weight loss supplements, handheld devices called "personal lie detectors" and other products.

The "can spam" legislation requires unsolicited e-mails to include a mechanism so recipients could indicate they did not want future mass mailings.

The law also prohibits senders of unsolicited commercial e-mail from disguising their identity by using a false return address or misleading subject line, and it prohibits senders from harvesting addresses off Web sites.

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Finally, legislation that ROCKS. Go Gov! Go Yahoo!

I'm gonna picket in front of the White House.

[b] CAN SPAM! [/B]

[image]JennsAbsent_747068 027.gif[/image]

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I got a new cell phone yesterday. The old one (that was brand new) just froze the other day and quit working.

I learned a lesson during those 2 days that I was phone-less....

I don't really need a cell phone. It's merely a convenience.

To whom it may concern:

Dear Sirs,

I would like to address the huge amount of spam mail that you send me every single day. I'm positive that there is a mistake in your database. It seems that you may have mistaken me for a 60 year old impotent male. Considering I'm a 30 year old female, I doubt that I will need a free sample of Viagra.

I have no interest in selling my body to science. I'm sure that you could make amazing discoveries with my 5'7" frame, but for the moment, I'll be needing said frame to carry me to Wal-Mart every day.

I highly doubt that your "Free Cash" ploy will work on even the most unsuspecting soul. I don't see a free laptop in my furture, nor am I interested in burning fat in my sleep. As a matter of fact, that sounds quite painful.

Understand that I have no interest in online gambling, free porn, finding my soulmate or a home loan with a 30% interest rate.

I severely doubt that you will ever hand over my winnings of $50,000 that you promised me months ago. The fact that you offered this award, yet again today, has me completely boggled.

I don't race stock cars, therefore I will not be needing stock car insurance.

Earning an education in an 8 week course at Villanova is simply out of the question considering my current responsibilities.

Credit cards are evil. Please stop sending me offers for free platinum visa cards and Capital gold cards. My husband would be very appreciative.

Becoming a CEO is not currently one of my dreams. That is one reality trip that I won't be taking.

In case you missed the update, Viagra, Levitra, and other potentially harmful drugs are best when prescribed by a physician.

I have zero interest in filling out surveys, becoming a loan agent or saving thousands of dollars on my car insurance.

Furthermore, I seriously doubt that you have concocted a legal form of marijuana.

The continuing attacks on my personal email accounts has caused me untold amounts of stress. If you insist on continuing these email assaults I will be forced to summon the email gods to smite your pitiful existence from my cyber fantasyland.

You have been warned.

Signed,
-One Pissed off Cyber Momma

DEAR ABBY: The advice you gave"Afraid for the Children" concerning the two 5-year-old girls walking home alone was correct.

I should know. I am a police officer. Those two little girls are definitely in danger walking home alone. Five-year-olds are extremely vulnerable to predators and traffic violators. It is important for concerned adults to safeguard children. Calling the police for assistance is vital, as an investigation is necessary to see why those children have been put in such a dangerous situation.

Don't wait until it's too late and children are abducted or hit by a speeding car. When it comes to children, it is always better to be safe than sorry. -- BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY

DEAR BETTER: Amen!

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I miss the days of my carefree youth, where there was no worry of kidnapping, sex abuse or violence.

I remember walking to and from school every single day, from the age of 7 on up. Our Elementary school was 4 blocks away, including one major intersection to cross.

Palmer was a very small town, consisting of about 1500 people. We didn't have alot of crime. The cops made it a personal hobby to break up teenagers partying because there was literally very little else to do. As a matter of fact, I remember only one instance of significantly "bad" crime. I'm sure that we had our share of break-ins, vandalism and theft, but it wasn't so much that you had to worry about your belongings. We left our doors unlocked all the time, and the windows were always up during the summer.

Back to that one instance of "bad" crime. When I was about 10 years old, we were inundated with tv crews and cameras for about 2 weeks, as a result of a double murder. This was a very special case, of a Father murdering his two baby girls, ages were approximately 3 and 7 from what I remember. This Father proceeded to wrap the girls bodies in trash bags and bury them in the backyard of his own home. I don't remember how the incident was uncovered